They Who Must Not Be Named
by PowerAndChaos
Summary: The Guardians are on Instant Messenger... What else could happen?


**Chat Room #15489**

**Chat ID: They-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named**

**Buddies Online: Neriah, Matt, Isabel, Ethan, Arkarian, and Dillon**

**Isabel: **Hey guys

**Matt:** Hey sis

**Neriah:** Hey

**Ethan:** What's up?

**Isabel: **Nothing much.

**Dillon: **Nothing ever is up

**Neriah:** Except for you, Dillon

**Dillon**:...

**Ethan**:... mental image

**Matt**: EWWW Ethan! Keep that thought out of you mind!

**Matt**: Innocent Truthseers are in here!

**Matt**: points to Neriah

**Isabel**: If she were there, she'd slap you

**Neriah**: ...

**Neriah**: Be right back guys.

**Neriah has left**

**Matt**: Where'd she go?

**Isabel**: Like hell I know

**Matt has left**

**Ethan**: I wonder why he left without saying goodbye...

**Dillon:** I bet you a soda that Neriah went over there.

**Ethan:** Deal.

**Neriah has returned**

**Neriah:** I'm back.

**Isabel:** Where did you go?

**Neriah:** I had some business to attend to

**Matt has returned**

**Isabel**: Hey Matt

**Matt:** THAT LITTLE BITCH!

**Ethan:** Who?

**Matt**: NERIAH!

**Matt:** She comes over right?

**Matt**: and she comments on the joke I made about her 'innocence'

**Matt**: and then...

**Matt:** SHE SLAPS ME!

**Matt:...**

**Matt:...**

**Matt**: Why am I the only one talking here?

**Matt**: ...

**Matt:** looks at online list

**Matt:** Oh no.

**Matt**: She's online isn't she?

**Dillon**: Yup.

**Ethan:** Yep.

**Isabel: **Yeah.

**Neriah:** Hello, honey.

**Matt:** Erm... hello, dear?

**Matt:** Nice to see you?

**Isabel**: lol

**Ethan:** lol

**Matt:** ...

**Matt:** I think I'll just shut up now.

**Neriah:** Good choice.

**Arkarian:** Hello

**Isabel:** ARKARIAN!

**Dillon:** Oh no...

**Ethan:** Well, at least she can't kiss him over the internet...

**Ethan**: ...

**Ethan:** Can't she?

**Dillon: **is scared

**Isabel:** Oh shut up

**Dillon**: You know, technically we can't.

**Dillon: **We're online!

**Ethan: **Nice revelation, Dillon.

**Ethan**: How long did it take you to come up with that?

**Dillon:** ponders

**Dillon**: About ten min—

**Dillon**: HEY!

**Isabel**: lol

**Neriah**: lol

**Matt**: lol

**Arkarian:** Who was the one who made the chat room name?

**Dillon: **ME!

**Dillon:** Why do you ask?

**Arkarian**: ...

**Arkarian:** You are an idiot.

**Ethan**: OMG.

**Ethan**: Arkarian just insulted somebody.

**Ethan**: lol

**Neriah:** lol

**Isabel**: about time, too...

**Matt**: lol

**Matt:** It's just plain sad when you are insulted by Arkarian...

**Matt:** I mean, if he agrees...

**Matt**: then it MUST be true...

**Arkarian**: sigh

**Arkarian:** Has anyone looked at the chat room title besides me?

**Matt:** No

**Isabel:** Yeah... no, not really.

**Arkarian:** sigh

**Dillon:** QUIT SIGHING!

**Arkarian**: Quit being so stupid.

**Arkarian**: sigh

**Dillon: **...

**Dillon:** You're doing that on purpose...

**Arkarian: **So?

**Arkarian:** What are you gonna do, Dillon?

**Arkarian**: Send me crashing into a brick wall?

**Arkarian:** sigh

**Dillon:** glares

**Isabel**: lol

**Isabel:** You go, baby!

**Arkarian: **thank you, thank you

**Arkarian:** bows

**Dillon: **glares

**Matt:** So...

**Neriah:** So...

**Matt: **So...

**Neriah: **So...

**Matt**: I'm sorry for my behavior earlier.

**Matt:** Is there any way I can make it up to you...

**Neriah**: thinks

**Neriah:** well...

**Neriah: **I know a secret room about three doors down from you

**Matt:** ...

**Matt**: Meet you there in three minutes?

**Neriah**: Deal.

**Matt**: See ya soon.

**Matt has left**

**Dillon:** Ethan...

**Ethan:** Yeah?

**Dillon: **I just remembered...

**Dillon**: You owe me a soda

**Neriah:** From what?

**Isabel**: Dillon bet Ethan a soda that you went over to Matt's...

**Neriah**: ... oh

**Ethan**: groans

**Ethan:** OK, Dillon

**Dillon:** YES!

**Arkarian**: I've never seen someone excited over getting another rush of sugar-inflated caffeine...

**Neriah**: Well, before I break out the dictionary to unconfuse myself with those big words you just used, I'm gonna go check up on Matt...

**Isabel:**... ew

**Neriah:** giggles

**Neriah has left**

**Dillon:** Arkarian, are you making fun of my teenage cravings?

**Arkarian**: Quite honestly, Dillon...

**Arkarian**: ...

**Arkarian:** Yes.

**Ethan:** lol

**Isabel**: lol

**Arkarian:** I, myself, survived quite some time without soda.

**Arkarian**: I, do believe, that I turned out quite nicely.

**Dillon**: Yeah, and I bet Isabel thinks you 'turned out quite nicely' too

**Ethan:** lol

**Isabel**: OMG DILLON! ETHAN!

**Arkarian:** Don't worry–I'm just glad someone agrees with me for once.

**Dillon:** lol

**Ethan**: lol

**Arkarian**: So, Dillon...

**Dillon**: Yeah?

**Arkarian: **Back to the chat name...

**Dillon:** WHAT ABOUT IT?!

**Arkarian: **You are an idiot.

**Isabel: **Yes, we've established that fact...

**Arkarian**: "They-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named"?

**Isabel:** OMG

**Isabel:** lol

**Isabel:** I feel evil

**Isabel:** GO VOLDEMORT!

**Ethan: **More like Moldy-Shorts

**Ethan:** lol

**Dillon**: lol

**Dillon: **Somehow that second one just makes me feel even more evil...

**Isabel**: I can see it now...

**Isabel:** STEP BACK HARRY POTTER!

**Isabel:** No magic needed for this one!

**Isabel:** Just spray some Spray-N-Wash on Moldy-Shorts!

**Isabel:** And the tough stains are gone!

**Ethan**: lol

**Dillon**: lol

**Arkarian:** ...

**Arkarian:** Who's Harry Potter?

**Arkarian: **And Voldemort?

**Arkarian:** And Moldy-Shorts?

**Arkarian**: eyes narrow

**Arkarian**: Isabel...

**Arkarian:** Is there someone I should know about?

**Isabel:** NO!!!!!

**Ethan: **lol

**Dillon**: lol

**Dillon:** I could see that...

**Dillon:** Isabel getting freaky with some imaginary book characters...

**Dillon: **Although it wouldn't be so bad...

**Dillon: **Harry from the movies isn't so bad looking...

**Ethan**: ...

**Ethan:** Dillon you just had a gay moment...

**Isabel**: Psht.

**Isabel:** He has those all the time...

**Dillon: **DO NOT!

**Dillon**: clutches fur-lined silk boxers to his chest

**Dillon**: I'M NOT GAY!

**Ethan:** lol

**Isabel**: lol

**Arkarian:** sigh

**Dillon:** QUIT SIGHING!

**Arkarian**: continues sighing without interruption from Dillon

**Isabel: **Yes, baby? Go on...

**Arkarian:** Am I the only one here concerned that an Order member could access this chat room...

**Arkarian**: Seeing as the title is so obvious...

**Isabel:** Honestly?

**Ethan**: We couldn't give a care.

**Dillon:** No offense.

**Arkarian:** Well... if I cannot protect the Named from future disasters...

**Arkarian**: I must say that I am bored.

**Arkarian:** ...

**Arkarian:** Isabel?

**Isabel:** ???

**Arkarian:** As that annoying man in that movie you made me watch said...

**Arkarian:** "Shall we shag now? Or shall we shag later?"

**Isabel**: ...

**Isabel:** Now.

**Isabel has left**

**Arkarian:** :-)

**Arkarian: **Christmas has come early.

**Arkarian has left**

**Dillon**: That was...

**Ethan**: Disgusting?

**Ethan**: Disturbing?

**Ethan:** Frightening?

**Dillon:** Is there an all-the-above option?

**Ethan: **Most definitely.

**Dillon:** You know, I don't know what is worse...

**Dillon: **The idea of what they are doing right now...

**Dillon**: Or the fact that Arkarian totally got laid from a cheesy Austin Powers line...

**Dillon: **IT'S NOT FAIR!

**Dillon:** That line never works for me! That man has everything!

**Ethan:** No kidding... remember what he's doing right now...

**Dillon:** ...

**Dillon:** is disgusted

**Dillon:** wow... mental image of a naked form...

**Dillon**: ... and it wasn't Isabel's...

**Ethan:** shudder

**Ethan:** thinks

**Ethan:** You know...

**Ethan:** Our whole buddy list was just picked off in pairs...

**Ethan:** Couples off to do the dirty...

**Ethan:** Too bad Rochelle isn't alive...

**Dillon:** ...

**Dillon**: You do know that if we keep picking off in pairs...

**Dillon**: Pairs that go 'do the dirty'

**Dillon: **Then I'll be stuck with you?

**Ethan**: ...

**Ethan:** I knew you were gay!

**Ethan**: Sicko.

**Ethan has left**

**Dillon**: ...

**Dillon**: I AM NOT GAY!

**Dillon has left**

**HarryP has entered**

**Voldemort has entered**

**HarryP:** What the heck is this crap?

**Voldemort**: Must be some more teens fantasizing about me...

**HarryP:** Ten galleon bet?

**Voldemort**: You are on.

**HarryP**: reads above conversation

**HarryP**: Man, these kids are messed up.

**Voldemort: **thinks

**Voldemort:** I wonder who this Dillon is?

**Voldemort:** ...

**Voldemort:** I wonder if he'd give me his number...

**HarryP:** You gay sicko.

**HarryP:** Avada Kedavra.

**HarryP has left**

**Voldemort has left, disappointed**


End file.
